Fourth Workshop with Lilie Ferrari

During the session we were introduced to the conventions of the format of the script - very briefly.
Lilie told us how to refer to the ghosts:

1. Ghost Lily
2. Ghost Granddad
3. Ghost Uncle George
4.Ghost Harold + Ghost John

She also told us that we have to remember "to show, not tell" rule. She asked as to use the actions and emotions to be representative more that what the characters are actually saying.

We were introduced to the triangle :

She told us to remember that the story must be understood by the audience and all of the clues and narratives must be encoded in a way that the audience will decoded the drama and its meaning the way we designed it. Lilie told us about ONT - on the nose, meaning not to explain too much of the story in the dialogue. We should make visual clues.

We also used the same format of introducing the location and time as we did with the scene breakdown.

We used "beat" when we had purposely made pause. We used it when a character was thinking, making up their mind or being threatening.
We used "pause" when there was a hesitation.

Lilie wrote a script for the episode 0 and showed us the format which w should be writing in. It included two things that we were meant to use at the end of each scene:

1. cut to - moving on to another scene
2. fade to - showing the passing time

The format in which we mean to write it includes:

I have used the scene breakdown to mark what characters are in what paragraph and how far I have got:

My first draft was created and annotated with Lilie, suggesting changes.
I have wrote too much, however the dialogues were well written and Lilie did not really changed them at all.